Knock on the door

It started last night.
I was working with my boss, Joe.
We had a little chat about life.

C: I really love writing, but I always feel that I haven’t done anything yet with this writing thingy. I never had any achievements, I never joined writing competitions etc etc. I met tons of people who can do better than me. Since I was a kid until now, I write for myself only.

J: You should tell others about that. If you keep it to yourself, then it will lead nowhere. I love to write as well. I never joined professional writing class or whatsoever, but I was an editor before. I told my boss that I love to write and art. Then, he gave me the opportunity to lead a team for writing and designing the magazine.

C: I will keep that in mind :)

C: are you the one who writes for the Blueberry’s blog?

J: Yes.. oh yah, I should let you to do it. Can you write a journal for one month?

C: (Smiling happily)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7)”

That’s true. You have to tell people, and then the door will be opened to you.

Cheers!

I didn't see it coming

I'm supposed to study, but here I am chatting my time away on Youtube.

Make me dance, I want to surrender..

comforting song from Belle and Sebastian.

<3

After

Have you ever heard of quarter-life crisis?
Quarter-life crisis happens to the people in 20s-30s.
It happens before/just graduated from college.
It makes people scared about what will happen next;
What kind of job they’re going to take?
Is it going to be good or bad?

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now (http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html)

At the beginning of this year, I was confused.
I screamed a lot to C, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
I was scared of what will happen next.
I was afraid that I am going to be nothing in the future.
I cried without knowing the reason.

I was alone, I couldn’t explain my feeling.
I was feeling insecure,
Until I decided that I need to have a journal to keep all my uncertain feelings.
I bought one, together with a card, for myself..

I tried to explain it to Karina.
After few months, she came and told me about quarter-life crisis.
She’s correct, I was having quarter-life crisis at the beginning of this year.

Now, I’m feeling good..
Leaving my adolescence era is not that scary.
Although I’m still here, trying to finish all those last responsibilities as a student,
I feel better.

Indeed, I don’t know what will happen next.
Indeed, I’m not sure what I am going to do in the near future.
But I have some pictures in mind (not one or two).

There are a lot of jobs to do.
I could be fashion buyer, journalist, writer or anything I want.
And the most important thing is; I’m not alone.

I dreamt about New York few days ago, now I secretly hope that I will find a job that allows me to travel.
Maybe I can write a blog about shopping and traveling with low budget; start from blogging and make money one day.
Maybe I can apply a job as travel journalist
Maybe I can go here and there

Maybe…
Oh I don’t like maybe..
I’ve decided, I will find a job that allows me to travel.
I’ll buy a map and pin every cities I’ve traveled.

Life wouldn’t be easy

“But life is good and it’s always worth living at least for a while.”
If she wants me – Belle and Sebastian

Back

It’s been a long time since my last post.
I took a month break from real world, it feels so good.
Now, here I am..
The real procrastinator is trying to make peace with her pending responsibilities.
Same old..
Same old..


PS: I miss you :(

Hat Yai Trip; when three girls were desperately wanted to eat Green Curry

I went to Hat Yai last weekend with Yuriko and Tarie. According to wikipedia, Hatyai is the southern part of Thailand which is close to Malaysia’s boundary. Yuriko, Tarie and I were there to have a short budget trip. We didn’t expect much, however it turned out to be fun.

We took a bus from Pasar Rakyat, Kuala Lumpur; RM 100 for return trip. The bus was departed at 10pm, we were expected to reach Hat Yai at 7am. It was a busy weekend so we finally reached Hat Yai at 9 am.

After this and that, we found a hotel; Hat Yai Asia Hotel. The hotel was old, but it’s relatively clean. We paid 900 Baht in the travel agent, but I think it supposed to be less than that.

Lee Garden Plaza was our first destination; we took tuk tuk to go there, 20 Baht each person. KFC in Hat Yai is extremely good! Highly recommended for Indonesian ;)

We walked around Hat Yai; Kim Yong Market which is not really suitable for us. At 3pm we took tuk tuk and went to floating market. The floating market was real fun. There were a lot of variations of food and its only 20 Baht for each meal. We got a chance to try Thai traditional food from the floating market. The drinks were selling with a Hello Kitty, Ultraman shape mugs made by clay.

There were some performances done by some students looking for donation. It was perfect; watched the sun goes down and heard the marching band played Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Oh how I wish I could go there with C. We left floating market when the marching band started to play Can You Feel the Love Tonight and catched a tuk tuk to go to Pe Thai Night Market.

We spent most of our money at Pe Thai; Pe Thai is smaller version of Chatuchak with almost the same fun. I bought a pair of jeans for 190 Baht!! We tried the best Kerabu Mangga ever and explored more and more stuffs there.

The second day, we departed at 7 pm. We spent our day to look for Green Curry. Lesson #1 from Hat Yai trip, it was hard for you to find Green Curry in Hat Yai. Apparently, Green Curry belongs to the northern side of Thailand. Yuriko was never been to Thailand before, needs to be satisfied with the Green Curry Chicken rice from KFC.

The trip was good, I don’t mind to go to Hat Yai for the second time. Let’s explore new places girls! 

07082010

Yes, I got a chance to see Belle & Sebastian live in Singapore.
It was damn GREAT!
The songs, the performance, the venue were perfect.

C, let's go to Glasgow.
We could watch their performance and waltz to the songs.
You could take some cool photographs and me enjoy dark hair blue eyes scottish guys.

<3

Dancing with fire

Lately, I’ve been chatting a lot with my high school friends.
I thought everybody has changed, wiser in our own ways.

We talked about silly stuffs.
A is the eternal kid, trapped in high school syndrome.
Changing boyfriends; thinking about marrying someone.
A says,” he’ll be my last. I love him so much.” But she’ll change her mind soon, I guess.

B is having the most stable life, in term of financial.
B never satisfied.
Complaining about how miserable her life is.
She’s having a boyfriend, one year younger than her.
He loves her deeply, like there is no tomorrow.
She is everything for him.
Life is a fairytale.
They will get married next year.
And live happily ever after.

C is having a quarter life crises.
She’s afraid about what will happen next.
She wants to make her mother proud.
Find a guy and settle down.
But she’s not really sure about it.

For god sake, we’re only 24 years old.
I feel wiser compare to them.
C is the toughest among them, because she needs to struggle to survive.
B is having the most stable life, but she does not know how to appreciate it, nonetheless she feels miserable.
A, hmm.. lets forget about her, she’ll always be the eternal kid.

Me??
I’m the luckiest.
I need to dance with fire, to make me stronger.
I did something bad to make sure I can beat the barriers.
I jumped to a risky business.
I walked through the hardest part.
I am here and there.
I learned, I asked and I heard.
I have almost everything I need.
Study aboard, struggle to survive, enjoying the life.
I did not enjoy financial stability like B, but I’m not empty.
I did not to struggle as much as C did, but I do gained some experiences from my hard times.

Thank you..
You need to know how to be thankful, because all the barricades you’ve to go through will make you stronger. You won’t be as empty as those who lived inside a stable life.

Dance with fire, but be careful you might get burned.
Dance with fire, and find the way where the fire won’t burn you down.