GODSPEED

Last night, I’d reached my lowest moment. I have tons of unfinished things which I’m not brave enough to getting it done soon. I was thinking about death. I thought it would be better if suddenly I could leave all those unfinished things.

When I was a kid, I always think that I will not reach the age above 30 years old. Why? I do not have plans for what I am about to do after 30 years old. I kept reading the tragic death of young people. I want people to remember me after I die, hence I need to die young and in tragic accident. I’m scared that I couldn’t see myself in the future.

When I grew older, I listened to many songs and started to appreciate life. I started to think that I do not want to waste my time. I want to live life to fullest. I want to think positively, no matter how hard all these things I’m sure that I could make it.

Last night, I’ve lost the battle.

This morning, I woke up and as usual login into twitter. I saw one of my friends posted “Why it always turns into drama or religious theme when we're having lowest moment?”

I’d turned into drama rather than religious theme.

I’m not ready with the future. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared that I’m going to lose one more time. Is thinking positively really can help you to solve the problems? Is it true that "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it (Paulo Coelho)."

I wish Godspeed for myself