After

Have you ever heard of quarter-life crisis?
Quarter-life crisis happens to the people in 20s-30s.
It happens before/just graduated from college.
It makes people scared about what will happen next;
What kind of job they’re going to take?
Is it going to be good or bad?

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now (http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html)

At the beginning of this year, I was confused.
I screamed a lot to C, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.
I was scared of what will happen next.
I was afraid that I am going to be nothing in the future.
I cried without knowing the reason.

I was alone, I couldn’t explain my feeling.
I was feeling insecure,
Until I decided that I need to have a journal to keep all my uncertain feelings.
I bought one, together with a card, for myself..

I tried to explain it to Karina.
After few months, she came and told me about quarter-life crisis.
She’s correct, I was having quarter-life crisis at the beginning of this year.

Now, I’m feeling good..
Leaving my adolescence era is not that scary.
Although I’m still here, trying to finish all those last responsibilities as a student,
I feel better.

Indeed, I don’t know what will happen next.
Indeed, I’m not sure what I am going to do in the near future.
But I have some pictures in mind (not one or two).

There are a lot of jobs to do.
I could be fashion buyer, journalist, writer or anything I want.
And the most important thing is; I’m not alone.

I dreamt about New York few days ago, now I secretly hope that I will find a job that allows me to travel.
Maybe I can write a blog about shopping and traveling with low budget; start from blogging and make money one day.
Maybe I can apply a job as travel journalist
Maybe I can go here and there

Maybe…
Oh I don’t like maybe..
I’ve decided, I will find a job that allows me to travel.
I’ll buy a map and pin every cities I’ve traveled.

Life wouldn’t be easy

“But life is good and it’s always worth living at least for a while.”
If she wants me – Belle and Sebastian